Blog. Blog.

Within the last week: Ben + Michelle spent an excessive amount of time together, and not even completely on purpose. Two friends now have hearings with the school [possible probations], resulting in another friend feeling VERY uncomfortable - she has been put into a sort of 'rock and a hard place' situation,- one friend has left school [apparently he's coming back though?], my grandmother passed away, and it's almost finals week.

I'm having sort of a hard time with my grandmother's death. It's been approaching for a while I suppose, but I you never really expect it to happen when someone has been in your life since before you can remember. The hardest part of all of this is that I can't be with my family. I haven't dealt with death on a personal level very often, if at all, so it's difficult not being able to experience it with my family, or even be able to go to the funeral. I am someone who ALWAYS feels the pain of death. I always joke with my friends that I somehow ended up with too much empathy for one body. Strangely though, I feel like her passing has put some things into perspective for me. This might sound crazy, but it has cleared a few things up that I have been having a really hard time with. It seems so strange... that within a few minutes your perspective can change. But, I think I will always be grateful for that. I want to believe that it was her way of gracing my life and giving me a kiss goodbye, since I wont be able to do it officially. The decision allowed me to let some of the great beauty of life that I had been afraid of come back to me.

That night was a beautiful night. I could see the stars for the first time in months. I had forgotten how much I missed them. There was this beautiful breeze. It just felt good. I sort of felt like it was for her. Even though I don't know what I feel about the soul or afterlife or any of that... it just felt right. So on my way home from Ben's I had my own little goodbye to her, and I thanked her for everything. It was really so beautiful out. Very uncharacteristic. If you have ever been to Rochester it is made of gray sky, gray sky, sleet, sleet, snow, rain and gray sky in the winter. So i think there might have really been something to this chance beautiful night. The wind wasn't even cold.

I don't really have much time to update, because It's already LATE and I need to work on a paper; but I'll give everyone a brief synopsis of life:

1. Boyfriend: His name is Ben. I actually met him on facebook when I was looking for people in my major before coming to RIT. We've been really good friends since we started chatting online. He's from New Hampshire. He's a photographer. He's a climber. And he is a skier. He has a rather organized bedroom of which I am jealous. [I don't know how he puts up with me... and our lack of storage in our dorm [Ellingson Hall has a massive lack of storage compared to most dorms]. He lives in Photo House. I already knew some, and really like the rest of his friends. He also gets along with my friends. He has good taste in music, doesn't mind my nose ring, and best of all: Doesn't mind dirty hair! Annnnnnnnnnd he's just generally amazingly sweet and awesome andddddddddddddddddd i'm completely smitten.

2. Roommate[s]: We have filled out housing for next year in hopes to get an on campus appartment. I will be living with my Friend Lorin [Video Game Design major, we listen to the same music, lives in my hall, SUPER funny, very nice]. My current Roommate Lianna [generally amazing], and Lianna's friend Allison [quite, nice, laughs at our jokes, outgoing, rides equestrian for school and a Digital Cinema Major]. We're pretty much willing to put up with whatever, we just want our own space that includes a kitchen. [At the moment, our dorm doesn't even have a microwave... =( ]

3. Spring Break: For the first half of the week [after finals...] I'm going home with Lianna, to Vermont, and for the second half of the week I'm going to visit Ben in New Hampshire. I'm really excited. At the moment... just to not have to worry about school. But I'm sure once I actually have TIME to think about break I'll be just generally excited! haha.

I don't know what else.

E-mail if you have questions?

I need to finish this paper so I can sleep. Seriously.

Goodnight, sweet loves of my life.



Michelle & Ben =]