Blog. Blog.

Oh wow. I haven't updated this in... FOREVER!

I could have swarn I had updated since I got to school! But I guess not =( I'll have to post pictures of my apartment later... cause I'm not home right now to take them. But soon!

The drive with dad went really well! I think we only had a few tiffs the whole time, which is really good! The drive went really smoothly: no major car issues, or getting lost. We averaged about 10 hours a day and got there in three days.

We left thursday morning driving a decent day to Omaha, Nebraska. We stayed the night with my Aunt Sally and Uncle Gary in their lovely home. =) I've always really liked it there, so it was a nice stop along the way. Sort of transitioning out of being at home and into being away. It was a nice stay, we went and got Chinese food with Gary and Sally and my cousin Elizabeth, got a good nights sleep and left the next day at a decent time. We headed through Iowa, through Chicago and into Indiana. We ended up staing in a hotel JUST inside Michigan (literally about 20 feet into the state) because of Notre Dame being in South Bend it was hard to find a place to stay. The next day we went back into Indiana, Ohio, PA and into New York! We got in on Saturday afternoon and stayed in a town just outside Buffalo. Dad and I spent the night relaxing and just wondering around the town (Which was 100% under construcion on all the roads and sidewalks... which actually made this pretty diffictult) Come sunday we spent our morning in Niagra Falls, dad and I brought out Passports so we got to see it from both sides. =) it was really beautiful, SOOOOOO much water! That afternoon we drove into Rochester and checked dad into his hotel. We hung out for a while, and then I was actually able to move some of my stuff into my apartment early because one of my roommates was being an Orientation Advisor and got to move in early. (Shhhhh! Don't tell!) I don't think I really broke any rules though, i wasn't like OFFICIALLY moved in or anything. haha. Dad left tuesday and we spent all the time in between moving and getting organized. It took us FOREVER to get our apartment organized, but it's finally pretty much done! HOORAY!

So far classes have been good, I'm taking a pretty light load this quarter because I got out of taking 2D design with my AP photography credit from high school. Everyone else is taking 2D this quarter and next... but I couldn't find anything else I wanted to fit into my schedule so I'm just taking one less class. =( I felt sorta bad about it... but I truly COULD NOT find another class to fit into my schedule. It was quite the bummer. However I've got a new job! And hopefuly I'll be able to pick up one more shift eventually... I'm working at a place called the RITZ on campus. I have a bunch of friends who work there (Lorin, my roommate -and a future student manager there- Frank -Lorin's bf-, Ben, Jake... etc.) It's another food service job, but it's a lot better than Gracie's. And I don't have to close!! =D I didn't hate Gracie's, but it's nice to be somewhere new.

My schedule is sorta terrible, just timing wise. I have the EXACT opposite schedule of EVERYONE. Both Ben and my roommates. So most of the time I'm IN my apartment, I'm alone. It sucks. I have a decent schedule Monday: 12-2 anthropology, 2-4 photo. ... and then it gets bad.
Tuesday: 10:30-1:20 work, 6-11pm photo lab. <--- Yeah. That's FIVE hours. At night.
Wednesday: 12-2 anthropology, 4:30-close work, 8-10 History and Aesthetic of Photography.
Thursday: 10:30-1:30 work, 7-10 photo crit.
Friday: 9-10 Career Seminar, 10-12 History and Aesthetic of photography.

I LOVE my photo class because there are some great people in there and the professor is AMAZING. I just wish that I could actually SEE my roommates from time to time. And Ben quite literally has a break EVERY time I have class, and I have class EVERY time he has a break. It is the megga suck. If you will.

Other than that I've just been workin' on classes and trying to get stuff done.
I got fish yesterday! I'm so excited. They're awesome.

I'll post pictures of them later!
This post has been long enough! Seeya!

(and I didn't proof read this one... so sorry if it's weird. Too tired to deal witht that right now.)

Gah. My toes are FREEZING! For august it has been WAY too cold. It monsooned for 3 days... which included and EXTREME temperature drop. We're talking down to about 40 degrees... in august. Even for Colorado that's a little extreme. The mountains looked beautiful with a fresh coating of snow though. =) So that was nice.

I saw my brother's new home! He's living a duplex on the edge of Fort Collins, (or at least the edge of the bigger city) it's sort of near the Football Stadium and the reservoir. It was a neat little house, two floors, with a really nice yard in back. He had a HUGEEEEEEEE closet in his bedroom. I'm excessively envious. Ben has a big closet in his new apartment, I guess, too. Why do all the people with NO clothing have huge closets? It's a cruel cruel trick of the world...

Lorin and I? Yes... we have... I think... one small closet to somehow split between the two of us! Unfair.

Anywho... I've been packing packing packing and i'm pretty much ALL done... finally! There are 4 times a year where i'm always like... "I have too much CRAP!" However, considering I'm fitting EVERYTHING into my car. I'd say I'm okay.

It's gonna be a LONG drive, with my dad. It can go one of two ways: We can get along really well and it'll be awesome. Or... we will NOT get along and it'll be sorta miserable. It'll probably be a bit of both, but i'm very excited for my apartment!

I am, additionally... REALLY sad to leave home. I cried for a while last night. It's just always hard being so far away... I always seem to feel this mix of guilt for leaving my parents, and even some regret about things I miss out on when I'm not home. But this is part of growing up I guess... and ROC is the right place for me. It is difficult to be so far away, if something bad happens it's not like I can just drive home in an afternoon or a day. Or even overnight...

I think Kelsie is here to pick me up!
Off on the road tomorrow!
I'll try to blog and keep you updated!

I got my wisdom teeth removed today, I was REALLY REALLY nervous. However, I was sort of tired to begin with and as the anesthesia woman said "we keep it strong" about the nitrus oxide (laughing gas) so by the time that stuff was on me for about a minute I was ready to pass out without the anesthesia. I have no idea when she even put the stuff into the I.V. The last thing I remember is the doctor coming in and greeting me, me saying something stupid in attempt to be funny and thus prove that I wasn't hopped up on something that made me unaware that anything had to do with me. It was something along the lines of; "How are you?"
"I don't belong to this world anymore..."
"You don't belong in this world?" Baffled, I'm sure.
Realizing I wasn't funny... "No... I'm just... floating around."
And then I woke up without my knees working.

I really felt fine, a little spacey, it hurt a bit... but other than my inability to walk I was fine.
All I could taste was blood. Lots and lots of blood. It was really gross to have all this blood just floating around in your mouth. I had gauze on the holes, and had to bite down to get the bleeding to stop... but they were soaked.
As soon as I got home and started cleaning up, I saw the blood and some deep primitive fascination with blood kicked in and I HAD to take pictures of the events. I dug out my camera and a memory card that wasn't full and started shooting. The entire time my mom was just trying to get medication inside me. I think she was completely horrified I was documenting it. However, she wishes she could watch whenever she gets surgery so... I guess we all have our things. I for one have NO interest in seeing my insides... ever.

I spent my afternoon creating dyptics while floating on vicodin and awkwardly eaten pudding. I personally enjoy them, and there's blood involved so I'm sure I can find SOMEONE who agrees.


They're on my flickr.

But here they are as well, for your convenience:


Lots of blood.


Medication.


Cleaning up.


The teeth! ... and more blood.

I've also been trying to take pictures of myself every hour to monitor swelling etc, and just to see how I entertain myself. I missed a few hours tonight, but I'm doing what I can. haha. I haven't really gotten very swollen so far... only my lips got all Angelina Jole on my ass. Hopefully it'll stay that way... but we'll see!

15 days till I leave to school!

Well...
I sure haven't posted in a long time.

So far this summer... Costa Rica. Which was amazing.
Then some boring time which consisted of me working, and not climbing and hanging out with friends from time to time.

Now... Ben is visiting! HOORAY! I missed him so much, it's been so amazing to have him around. It was really surreal for the first maybe... ten minutes. It just felt very strange... it's a hard thing to explain, sort of like having really harsh daja vous to the point that nothing feels quite real. However, after those ten minutes... it's just been great. He seems to get along with my parents. Which, of course, is very good.

So far we haven't done much. He spent the first day loitering with me at work. I felt sort of bad, I'm sure it was VERY boring for him. haha. =/ After we went climbing for a bit at Ute Valley. It's a neat area. It was a little frustrating for me considering I haven't really been climbing, butit wasn't too bad. (with the exception of showering and being nearly unable to wash my hair because of my hands hurting... hooray soap!)

Today Ben opted to stay home for most of my shift. But he's gonna bring me lunch and then hang out for a while. <3 what a nice boy!

And after that... the day is sort of mystery! So we'll see what it holds!

We're also planning a camping/climbing trip which should be greattttt fun. =D

More soon! (hopefully)


Ben and I after our last climb in Vedauwoo, WY. It was raining so we had to call it a day early, sadly. But we had a lot of fun. We climbed a multi-pitch route on the rock behind us. Meaning one person leads, putting gear into the rock as they go up... and the other person belays. Then when the person leading gets to a belay ledge where they can hook themselves into the rock and belay you from above as you climb and clean all the gear out of the rock. And then when you get to the ledge, you hook in. And they climb... the process continues till you're done! It was a lot of fun, we were there for two days but I wish we could have stayed longer. I'm definitely going back. We also climbed a multi-pitch at Garden of the Gods the day he left. We got up at 6:00 am and got in the car by 6:30 to make sure we'd have time to climb it and get him to his flight. It was a great end to the trip, and it was sort of fun to have a peanut gallery since it was a pretty easy, but REALLY fun climb.


Cute boy at Garden of the Gods. <3


My mom took some pictures of us the day he left, they're really cute. =) He seemed to hit it off with my parents. I think my dad still is sort of standoff-ish with the whole "serious boyfriend" thing, but they got along well. My mom really liked him though, which is great, cause I do too!

We both cried at the airport. Not TOO long till I get to see him again, I'll be at school about a week before he will. I miss him SO much, but it's also exciting to know I get to see him so soon again. We went way too long between leaving for summer and seeing each other, it got hard for a little while. However, in retrospect there was really only one week that was REALLY hard. Which is a really good sign I think.

Summer life has been interesting. I actually haven't seen my friends much, which is sort of a bummer.
Molly was out of town until recently, now that she's back I've been hanging out with her a lot more. Kelsie has sort of dropped off the face of the planet cause she's taking classes in boulder. Joy is really busy too, so I've been on my own a lot. Everyone else I'll just see now and then.

Climbing has been completely miserable. I didn't like the gym near my house, but my parents didn't want me to go to the other gym. So I have thus been not climbing at all. It really sucks. I also don't know anyone to go climbing with, so my climbing has been limited to bouldering. I got my crash pad today though, so hopefully i'll be able to at least salvage a bit of the summer. We'll see. =/

Lianna is coming in two days!! I'm really excited to see her. She's here for a week, we're gonna do the usual colorado stuff. I'll take her to the top of Pikes Peak on the cog, and then spend the evening in town. Also Garden of the Gods and some camping. It'll be cool. And then ben comes in 15 days!! I'm very very very very very excited!!! He's only staying for about a week and a half, but I haven't seen him in a little over six weeks and it'll only be about a month till I see him again. He is gonna miss my birthday though =( Cause he and carter will be driving back from California. We'll see though, hopefully i'll be able to do something fun with my roommates. I haven't had very coheseve or good birthday's for a few years. So we'll see...

That's about it for now. I have to work on the fourth, which really sucks. But such is life.

Love to all.

I'm going home soon. Tuesday morning I had my M&P final, and then printed my photo final. I didn't eat all day because I just got so busy. By the time I left the ESP lab from printing to go meet Ben to meet his dad at the airport I was pretty out of it. Ben's dad came into town to help him move out of his dorm room. I cried a lot. I'm going to miss him soooooo much. But I'm also so happy with him I'm just SO happy we've gotten so close, and I have the time I do with him. And he's going to visit me, so that'll be AMAZING. Sadly, I'm not going to be able to visit him this summer... unless I run away to New Hampshire or something. =D It is a big bummer though, because not only am I going to miss him but I'm sad I don't get to see his family, too. They're GREAT people and even though I'm still a LITTLE nervous around them, I love to be there. He really was raised by great people. *wistful sigh* I can't believe I'm not going to see him for so long. But... I love him so much, it's worth it to deal with a few months apart to have a happier long run. <3

Today was almost the same thing as yesterday. I was up late, got up early and started to work on stuff, helped Ben move out, photo final. Now I NEED NEED NEED to pack!!!!!!

Flying home is a HUGE bummer. I hate not being able to put everything just into a car and driving off. Everything needs to be self contained. Oy oy oy.


I need to go pack. I'll update this more soon!


Also: New camera waiting at home!

Three more weeks of school. I can't believe it. It's completely incomprehensible that I'm almost done with my freshmen year of college. Seriously. Part of me is sort of excited to start packing... it's one of those things where I get excited for a big chore or event, and then once I actually start doing it it gets much less exciting and more daunting. Like scheduling. But for now I'm still excited. It's definitely going to be weird.

Lianna is going to come visit me this summer. =) So that will be fun! Originally I was going to visit Ben and we was going to visit me as well... but I don't think that's going to happen. ='( He'll (hopefully) come visit me, however, I don't think I'm going to be able to get out there this summer. My mom only wants me to visit back out east if I can just leave early for school instead of coming back and fourth. To save money, and theoretically; time. Which really makes sense... but it wont work because Ben has some crazy scheme with our friend Carter to fly out to California (where Carter is doing a co-op) and drive back with him climbing along the way. So obviously I can't drive out early to visit him if he's going to be driving across the country. It all sorta sucks because it also means his visit to Colorado will be shorter too. *sigh* Oh well. I don't think we'd break up even if we didn't see each other at all over the summer. But it just sucks that we sort of have the OPPORTUNITY to see each other and can't really use it. Such is life?

I also think I'm going to have a REALLY hard time finding a job this summer. I get home so late most of the places hiring will already have hired. This ends up being quite the bummer because I need money for a climbing membership at a gym in the springs. (Because as of right now I doubt I'll be able to find people who want to climb outside consistently enough to stay strong and a decent climber over the summer, at least for a while. I could bolder outside alone, but there's no way I can do sport climbing or even top rope or anything alone.) And that's going to be about $120 bucks. Also I sorta want a new sleeping back for camping. But my biggest priority at the moment is a NEW DSLR!!! I want. I'm wanting to get a Nikon D300. For those of you who know of the glory that is a Nikon D3 (pretty much the best camera on the market right now... which my boyfriend happens to own) this camera is pretty much the less-pro version of it. Give or take a few features/thousand dollars. =) I wish I could afford a D3 though. Dear lord. =) It would be amazing. But who needs to buy one when they have a boyfriend who lets them use it! He really is such a nice boy... ; )
-i'm really not into him just for his camera... i swear hehe <3-





ANYWAYS.
It'll be really weird to get home and suddenly have NOTHING to do. Usually when I'm just sitting around I always am thinking "Oh i shouldn't be sitting... i should be doing this and this and this..." But... now I'm really going to have nothing to do. It's very strange. They put these posters up in our bathroom about things to ask ourselves/family when we come home to "readjust" to being at home after being "independent" for so long. It was stuff like rules, having friends over, do we still have our own room... all that sorta stuff. It kinda makes me feel like I've been in prison and have to readjust to the outside world or something.

Also, on a little side note. I've realized gradually that I really dislike change. Once I get used to one thing: living at home, living at school, a certain schedule.... I don't like it to change. I'm okay with temporary change like spontaneity. But when it comes to permanent change the "this will NEVER be the same again" things... I just don't like it. That might just be a human thing but even things like people getting new jobs that screw with the normal schedule I have permanently makes me uneasy. And I always have to talk myself out of it... because that's stupid.

I've also finally found a group of people I really enjoy being around here so it's a bummer having to leave them all summer. But I do miss my friends at home a LOT so it's going to be great to see them. And that's why god made facebook and video-chat anyways. Plus, I'm sure i'll be back here before I know it. Now I just need to figure out HOW i'm getting back. I definitely want to drive because life as a photo major without a car is completely miserable. I was sort of able to work around it this year... but there's no way to do it as I get more serious. I'm pretty sure neither of my parents will be able to drive back with me. I do NOT want to do it alone. There's a SMALL possibility that my friend Molly might be able to drive with me? (she's going to school at SUNY Purchase which is a little ways outside NYC) If all else fails my friend Ian is driving back from Cali with his dad so I could meet up with them somewhere. I could also possibly drive along with Ben and Carter... but a) I haven't actually been invited, and b) I'd probably just slow them down 'cause i'm sure they'll want to climb stuff WAY outside my skill level. =( Why must everything be so complicated?!


Oh well.
I spose I have some time.

I cannot believe it's already almost half way through the quarter! I CANNOT believe it's already April!! How did this happen?! I'm not ready to leave school and my new friends yet... and I'm REALLY not ready to not see Ben for months at a time. =( =( I wish I could be in two places at once. I'm going to miss my friends here a lot. And also... i'm not gonna lie... i'm a little bit TERRIFIED that something will happen between Ben and I over the summer. Even though I'm pretty sure it wont =) ... it's just one of those things, you know? He's kind of amazing, so I'd hate to lose him because of distance. I've already given myself an ulcer worrying about this type of thing before though... so I'm just going to trust that it will be okay. =)

I'm both excited to go home and see everyone, and also really excited to come back. I wanted this quarter to go slowly so I could get a good fill of the people here before I go home. It doesn't seem to be working that way at all.

I am really excited to climb in Colorado this summer though. It should be really great. =) That is if I can get back on track at getting better, I was improving really steadily for a while... and then I had a big break from going regularly... and now my re-start has been pretty rocky. I'm a little bummed about it. But hopefully I'll be able to get back up on that progression soon. I also need to set aside some money so I can get a harness for top rope/sport climbing. I have a whole new money management thing where I'm going to only allow myself to make bigger purchases within two or three days of my next paycheck. And all the other crap I'll probably just mooch off of Ben for now. =)

I probably have more to say, but I need to shower. So I will post again soon!

We got our housing stuff last week.
Lorin, Lianna, Allison and I got into a two bedroom, two story + basement ["family room and utility room"] Townhouse. We're soooooo excited. I was asking my friend Irvinn about it, [because he lives in one now] and he offered to give us a tour of his. So we trecked out there and gave it a looksy. We were impressed. It's definitely a college appartment. But the carpet is decent, the kitchen isn't bad... and we have THREE FLOORS!!! We were really lucky to get in there. Housing is so short here that a TON of people got stuck in the RIT Inn. [An off-campus Inn run by the school] A lot of kids are also moving into the new [and expensive] appartment complex right off of campus. It's about as close to campus as my appartment is, fully furnished... going to be near all of the new restraunts and businesses they're building. Ben and his roommates actually went and got one after they got stuck back in the dorms in Photo House again. [So basically I get the awesome of the new apartments without having to pay!]

Things with Ben are going wonderfully. We both really like each other's friends... although we definitely hang out with his more often. [My hall is sort of a bust.] But he gets along with Lianna really well, which is good. They have this whole Vermont/New Hampshire thing going for 'em. ;) haha. We're hopefully gonna see each other twice over the summer, I'm gonna visit him/Lianna and he's gonna come visit me. Also, the more people talk about the the more i'm considering driving back out here this fall. It'll be a long drive, but it would be SO NICE to have a car on campus considering my apartment is more off-campus than on. [Even though it's "on campus"] Also considering the fact that for the majority of the time I'm here it's really nasty outside so while I CAN walk places... I'm not going to want to. And just in general it would be nice to not have to rely on Lianna and Lorin for rides all the time. Plus moving ALL of my stuff on my own without the risk of losing it all on the airline/having to way EVERYTHING = kinda awesome.

We've also had a bit of a re-layout of the rooms in our townhouse. Originally Lianna and I were gonna room together and Allison and Lorin were gonna room together. But Allison and Lorin don't actually really know each other... and obviously were sorta uncomfortable with it. So we changed it so I'm living with Lorin and Lianna is living with Allison. It's not a big deal though, I know Lianna and Allison will get along fine, and I'll love living with Lorin. [Plus lianna and I will still be living together just not in the same room.] There were more reasons too, but that was the major one. Now we just have to figure out which pair gets the bigger room. lol. ;)

In other news I probably look like a crazy person because I keep burning the crap out of my arms at work. I have huge nasty injuries on both my forearms now. =[ It's a lot of fun.

I'm getting REALLY tired of the classes I've had all year... art history... Material and Process of Photography... I can't wait until next year. *sigh* SO CLOSE TO THE END OF THE YEAR! It's gonna be so weird to leave... but I also can't wait to come back!

Especially now that I have an awesome apartment! =]

I have finished my first official week and weekend of the new quarter. It already feels like I've been back for a long time. It feels like break was weeks ago. Very strange how that works. Classes:
M&P:
The usual. I'm not really good or bad at this class. I get what we talk about in lecture usually, do okay on the tests. But I have NO idea what the hell is going on in lab. I have a new lab partner, thank god. She's another photo house girl. She seems pretty cool though, reliable if nothing else.

Photo:
So far we don't have many assignments. But I think I REALLY like him. He's an older guy, a professional photographer from the upper west side. [NYC] He commutes to teach us, and he definitely knows his stuff. He's just on a whole new level of talking and reflecting and teaching photography compared to my previous professor. I'm sort of nervous about turning in our first assignment though. I really want him to like my stuff. Or at least see enough potential to think that he can really give me the help and edge in my photography I want. [Or rather NEED.] I really don't want him to just think i'm lazy and without direction or something. I am sort of direction-less at the moment. But... we'll see.

Kickboxing:
=] I think this class is gonna be really fun. Pretty intense I guess, from what I've heard. But I'm really into stuff like that. It's all the traditional kickboxing moves with aerobic stuff in the beginning [sort of tae boe-esque] and then actual kickboxing with the bags for the last part of class. Plus there's a girl from my photo classes in there. [Photo classes first two quarters] so that should be fun.

Western Art & Architecture:
I love the theory of this class, but the actual class has been pretty hard for me. I understand the overall ideas and aspects of the eras, it's just all the specifics I often have a hard time with. We'll see how it goes. My professor from last quarter took leave, so I ended up going back to the professor I had first quarter. [Not necessarily by choice] She's an alright professor. Definitely less knowledgeable feeling than my previous professor. And a little less interesting. But she's a much less intense grader. Soooooo we'll see?

Psychology:
I think it's gonna be a pretty good/interesting/not too hard class. It's a 4 hour lecture once a week. You WILL pass the class if you pass the quizzes. You read the chapters, he lectures on the chapters that week, and you have a quiz over the previous weeks lecture. It should be pretty good. Plus I'm into all that. =]

I've been freaking out about money a little bit lately. [Not to mention we're all talking about it right now.] I just don't want to end up being in debt for YEARS because of college. I donno... I guess these things usually sort themselves out as long as you stay on top of them.

Ho humm.

Killer headache, and burned myself at work today.

SO

I'ma out.

LOVE

So I seem to be half way through my first week back to the grindstone. So far I'm fairly happy with my new classes. I don't have to get up until 11 any day of the week except for my photo lecture on Mondays. [Which every 1st year photo student has at 8am] So that's a real treat! So far Photography seems really promising. I'm super impressed with my new professor. [I wrote a little more about him in my other blog, here. He is very knowledgeable. He actually lives in NYC and commutes up to teach. I have the same Western Art & Architecture teacher that I had first quarter. She's much less intense than the professor I had last quarter... but I don't enjoy her as much honestly. The last guy might have been a REALLY hard professor, but his lectures were actually sort of interesting because he knew SO MUCH about them all. He had LIVED with most of this art. I guess I just find this other professor a little more boring. Other than that I have Cardio Kickboxing tomorrow and then my psychology class on Thursday! I'm really excited for that. [Other than spending $110 on a USED text book for it today.]

I don't have much exciting to talk about tonight, sorry guys. =]

So, I'm still on spring break! It's been really fun. We've gone out to dinner, done a bunch of touristy things, went shopping. Yesterday one of the things we did was visit the Ben & Jerry's factory and take a tour. It was SUPER fun. I saw them making Steven Colbert's Americone Dream. Which excited me a lot. And then at the end we got free samples and they talked about these new flavors that were coming out. One of which is a tribute to John Lennon, called "Visualize Whirled Peace" complete with chocolate peace signs in it. I was SUPER excited about it. I got some in the little scoop shop they had on site. =] Tomorrow I get see Ben and head up towards New Hampshire! I'm really excited. Mostly just to see Ben. I feel totally pathetic for how much I've been missing him... especially since we have to go through a few months, with only seeing eachother for a few weeks of it, this summer. But It'll be okay. =] We've definitely turned into the couple that Lianna never wants to be. =] haha. Not that she minds us at all... it's just a person thing with her I guess. Ben and I do fine with our alone time... but we've become fairly co-dependant on eachother. It works out alright though because I really get along with/enjoy all of his friends and he gets along with mine. [Even though when we hang out in my hall we mostly just lay around and watch movies and stuff, since my hall sucks] Additionally it works out fine because we both REALLY don't want to be the reason the other one gets behind on work or anything. So we're pretty good about leaving eachother [mostly] alone when work needs to be done. =]

We're finding out about housing for next year in a few weeks! I can't wait! It'll either be a completely awesome, or miserable day... depending.

In other news: I OFFICIALLY have gained second year status at school! I ended the quarter with an A in Photo Arts 2, an A in FYE [duh], a B in Western Art & Architecture [how... I don't know], B in Shakespeare, and a B in Modern American History. Thus giving me the 42 credit hours I need to become a second year [you need 40.] I sort of feel like both Shakespeare and Modern American History I could have achieved A's in if this quarter hadn't been THIS quarter. Outside of photo both my roommate and I [and a LOT of other people for that matter] have felt SUPER unmotivated. I think it has something to do with the way the breaks break up the quarter, and how you can't really go outside. There wasn't really enough snow to go do fun things out side, and it was just gray all the time. Gray sky, gray ground. At any rate I'm VERY excited to have my second year status... AND I'm VERY excited to start the new quarter. We'll see how it all goes.



Michelle & Ben Pre-Break.



Lianna & Michelle at the Ben & Jerry's Factory. =]

And thank god! This quarter has been killing me! Motivation has been really hard to find in general and I just... am ready for something new! I should end up with an A or B in photo 2. HOPEFULLY a B in M&P [if I can ever get myself to study for this last final...]. I got a B in history. I have NO idea what I'm getting in Shakespeare or Western Art & Architecture... but I should have an A or B in Shakespeare.

I had some SERIOUS drama while scheduling... but it all worked out! Thank god! [I'm taking a concentration in Psychology... which I will turn into a minor. And then double minor in Buisness.] My schedule for next quarter:

Monday:
Material and Process of Photography Lecture: 8am-10am
Photo Arts 3 Lab [with a new professor!]: 1pm-5pm

Tuesday:
Western Art & Architecture: 12pm-1:20pm
Material and Process of Photography Lab: 2pm-4pm
Photo Arts 3: 4pm-6pm

Wednesday:
Cardio Kickboxing: 12pm-1:20pm

Thursday:
Western Art & Architecture: 12pm-1:20pm
Photo Arts 3: 4pm-6pm
Intro. to Psychology: 6pm-10pm =[

So tuesday and thursday are gonna be pretty rough... but it's sorta worth it for no class friday [again] and one class wednesday.

What else? For spring break I'm going to Vermont with Lianna for the first half of the week, and then to New Hamshire to visit Ben [!!!] for the last part of break. =] I'm really excited! A little nervous to meet Ben's parents. I'm sure I can win them over, because I know I have a great personality and i'm polite and try to be helpful. And I've NEVER had anyone's parents not like me... but I'm a little nervous about first impressions. Nose ring. Industrial. Guages. =/ Eep.

I"m sure it'll be okay though =]

Within the last week: Ben + Michelle spent an excessive amount of time together, and not even completely on purpose. Two friends now have hearings with the school [possible probations], resulting in another friend feeling VERY uncomfortable - she has been put into a sort of 'rock and a hard place' situation,- one friend has left school [apparently he's coming back though?], my grandmother passed away, and it's almost finals week.

I'm having sort of a hard time with my grandmother's death. It's been approaching for a while I suppose, but I you never really expect it to happen when someone has been in your life since before you can remember. The hardest part of all of this is that I can't be with my family. I haven't dealt with death on a personal level very often, if at all, so it's difficult not being able to experience it with my family, or even be able to go to the funeral. I am someone who ALWAYS feels the pain of death. I always joke with my friends that I somehow ended up with too much empathy for one body. Strangely though, I feel like her passing has put some things into perspective for me. This might sound crazy, but it has cleared a few things up that I have been having a really hard time with. It seems so strange... that within a few minutes your perspective can change. But, I think I will always be grateful for that. I want to believe that it was her way of gracing my life and giving me a kiss goodbye, since I wont be able to do it officially. The decision allowed me to let some of the great beauty of life that I had been afraid of come back to me.

That night was a beautiful night. I could see the stars for the first time in months. I had forgotten how much I missed them. There was this beautiful breeze. It just felt good. I sort of felt like it was for her. Even though I don't know what I feel about the soul or afterlife or any of that... it just felt right. So on my way home from Ben's I had my own little goodbye to her, and I thanked her for everything. It was really so beautiful out. Very uncharacteristic. If you have ever been to Rochester it is made of gray sky, gray sky, sleet, sleet, snow, rain and gray sky in the winter. So i think there might have really been something to this chance beautiful night. The wind wasn't even cold.

I don't really have much time to update, because It's already LATE and I need to work on a paper; but I'll give everyone a brief synopsis of life:

1. Boyfriend: His name is Ben. I actually met him on facebook when I was looking for people in my major before coming to RIT. We've been really good friends since we started chatting online. He's from New Hampshire. He's a photographer. He's a climber. And he is a skier. He has a rather organized bedroom of which I am jealous. [I don't know how he puts up with me... and our lack of storage in our dorm [Ellingson Hall has a massive lack of storage compared to most dorms]. He lives in Photo House. I already knew some, and really like the rest of his friends. He also gets along with my friends. He has good taste in music, doesn't mind my nose ring, and best of all: Doesn't mind dirty hair! Annnnnnnnnnd he's just generally amazingly sweet and awesome andddddddddddddddddd i'm completely smitten.

2. Roommate[s]: We have filled out housing for next year in hopes to get an on campus appartment. I will be living with my Friend Lorin [Video Game Design major, we listen to the same music, lives in my hall, SUPER funny, very nice]. My current Roommate Lianna [generally amazing], and Lianna's friend Allison [quite, nice, laughs at our jokes, outgoing, rides equestrian for school and a Digital Cinema Major]. We're pretty much willing to put up with whatever, we just want our own space that includes a kitchen. [At the moment, our dorm doesn't even have a microwave... =( ]

3. Spring Break: For the first half of the week [after finals...] I'm going home with Lianna, to Vermont, and for the second half of the week I'm going to visit Ben in New Hampshire. I'm really excited. At the moment... just to not have to worry about school. But I'm sure once I actually have TIME to think about break I'll be just generally excited! haha.

I don't know what else.

E-mail if you have questions?

I need to finish this paper so I can sleep. Seriously.

Goodnight, sweet loves of my life.



Michelle & Ben =]

This quarter has kicked my butt.

In a lot of ways it's really starting to even out and look up... quite a bit.

But just as a reference to the last month or two: They sucked.

It wasn't even the fact that I overloaded credits. I have MORE classes, and LESS WORK. But MORE reading. I can motivate myself to do work, because it makes me feel accomplished. But I'm having a hard time forcing myself to sit down and just read... read... read... when there is not work connected to it. It feels so dry and never-ending.

The breaks screwed me up too. Going home. Coming back. Going home. Coming back. Being VERY homesick. It's hard to re-gain the motivation I had at the beginning of the quarter when I have four weeks, leave, come back for three weeks, leave and then come back with half of the quarter already gone. We came back to midterms. It throws you off.

Then there was the drama; Kyle drama. Then Corey drama. Back and fourth...

Kyle drama is over with, as is Corey drama, actually.

I've been climbing 3 times a week. And it's murdered my hands, but I love it.

And I also seem to have a new boy in my life. But I don't want to say too much till it develops more.

Work is going fine. EVERYTHING is going fine except for school. I'll get back on the track... I just wish it wasn't taking me so long to get there...

Hello everyone! It's really been a while since i've updated. Sorry, life his been sort of a rush lately. The first few weeks of second quarter were strange, seeing that we only had three weeks between thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Corey and I broke up and I overloaded this quarter [20 credits when we're allowed 18], we've also been trying to figure out what we're going to be doing for housing next year. My roommate this year, Lianna, our friend Lorin, and our friend Evan [hopefully] are going to try to get an on campus apartment.

I really enjoyed being home and seeing my friends, I really didn't want to leave. This quarter is going to be so stressful! And I'm not going to be able to see my family again for SO LONG... it was hard to leave.

Other than coming back here and trying to get back into the swing of things I've mostly been doing a TON of reading for class. TONS.

In photo we're doing color printing, which is really fun. The only problem is that you have to print in complete dark which leads to overactive imagination and running into walls. I've gotten better at that though. We're also starting to do some work on computers, scanning prints and negatives, using photoshop and all that. It's pretty fun, or at least new. There's a Kodak Lab on the fourth floor that's pretty much pimped out in 18% grey and huge mac monitors, new scanners, and some Epson's to print on. I'm a fan.

Lianna and I have been reclusive from the floor a bit lately. It's not that we're being purposely anti-social, however we're getting a little tired of only having ppl come down to our end of the hall when we want a ride. Sooooo we've sort of just been doing our own thing. Which is fine with me because she's AMAZING and we get along so well. This week we stayed up watching all of the old Saw movie's [sorry dad :)]. Tuesday night we decided that if we were good and did our homework [we'd been procrastinating too much] we'd reward ourselves by watching a movie. We watched the first Saw movie and LOVED it. So the next night we watched the second one, then thursday the third one. Yesterday [Friday] Lianna and I decided to plan our own night and THEN invite others along because we were ICNREADIBLY tired of spending our friday nights asking ppl what they wanted to do, and having them tell us they would rather just sit at their desk and do stuff on their computer all night. That way WE'D have fun and if others came, they came... if not... then ohhhhhhh well. We took our friend Lorin and went downtown. We wondered around for a while after, for the first time, getting down to the parking garage without getting lost. And then we went to Java's which is a trendy coffee shop downtown that has another one on our campus. We hung out there for a while and then decided to go back to the car and see what else the world offered. It took us about a year to get out of downtown, after getting stuck in a sort of slummy area looking for a bathroom for Lorin. After about 7 or 8 stops lorin went into a fish fry where a an asian girl around our age took pitty and let her into the back and let her use their private one. She came back to the car smelling like fried fish. We also had a guy trying to peddle stuff to us who got all mad when we told him we were in a rush and had to go. We FINALLY found our way back to Henrietta and drove around there for a while. We drove by a dollar theater and noticed Saw IV was playing, so we took Lorin back to the dorm to finish homework and Lianna and I went back to see Saw IV in theater. It was really fun. After we hung out for a while in the dorms, got food an then my wonderful friend Evan downloaded South Park the Movie and we all watched it on my bed. It was fun. Lianna and I were going to go the the Rochester Market today but we decided sleeping in was better. So we're going next weekend.

Hmmm what else? I decided the idea of an apartment with a kitchen and friends outweighed the idea of being an RA, however I'm going to try be an Orientation Adviser instead. I'm also using not being an RA this year to motivate me to do work for a bunch of Scholarships, some of which I will hopefully get! I'm not sure what else is going on, just school work and hanging out.

I hope everyone is well!

:)



Lorin, Myself & Lianna at Java's. Lookin' a little awkward. [we were in a little cushioned harem looking booth thing with a tiny table set in the middle so it was sort of hard to coordinate]

It's about twenty before noon right now. My flight boards at 4:30. Annnnnnnnd i'm already at the airport. Awesome, right?

I probably COULD have found a ride that could have brought me ohhhhh at two? But Lianna offered to take Corey and I. Corey's flight was at 11:45, so we got here nice and early. I got to hang out with him until his flight left, which was nice. But now he's gone and I already miss him... and everybody!

This airport is infested with RIT students. lol. Yay, I just found one I knew who could watch my stuff while I went and got food. He's not my FAVORITE person, but I know where he lives and have classes with him, so he can't mess with my stuff. :D

He sort of smells. And has terrible fashion sense. But whatever... mostly he's just lazy. :D Okay, i'm going to stop obsessing about that now.

I just checked my grades: So far, I have an A in Photo Arts 1. :D, a B in Writing Seminar, and an A in Freshmen Year Enrichment. ...which is a joke of a class. But YAY! The only class I'm REALLY worried about is my Survey: Western Art & Architecture class. For some reason I had a really difficult time with the tests in that class, the emphasis of what she was asking for on each of them was sort of inconsistent... plus they were all multiple choice, which was sort of a bummer because I knew a LOT about the pieces of work, but maybe not the specific fact she was asking for. So it didn't really judge what I knew exactly. But as long as I get a C so I can get credit I'll be fine with that. I have a new professor next quarter and I'll strive to get an A to make up for whatever I get this quarter. Hopefully my journals are enough to even out my test scores a bit, we'll see...

I love college though; reflecting over this last quarter. I'm so happy here. I donno if i've ever been so consistently happy, while working so hard. I've definitely had my moments of un-happiness. FOR SURE. But in general I'm SO HAPPY i'm here. I ended up in the perfect place. It's so crazy. Like the fates really just put me in the right place. My roommate and I are RIDICULOUSLY compatible. My floor is AMAZING. I've met some truly amazing people. I didn't end up with the BEST group of kids in a lot of my classes... but you can't have everything, right? :) I can't wait to be home!!

I'll see everyone soon!!

't done this in a while. Sorry guys!! It's late and I SHOULD be asleep, but of course as always I was tired all day... but now can't sleep. Go me.

What have I been up to? A lot! I'm so busy!!

It's the 9th week. Which means one more week... and then finals! I can't believe it! I really can't. I'm VERY excited to go home and see everyone for thanksgiving! I can't even wait! I get giddy just thinking about it! It's weird though, I can't WAIT to go home and see everyone... but I'm really going to miss everyone here a lot. I have almost no good friends outside of my hall. I see everyone in my hall pretty much EVERY DAY. It's going to be weird not seeing them, we're all so different and amazing. I love it. But it's weird because I'm excited to come home, but I think by the end of two weeks... I'll be ready to come back and see everyone here again.

I absolutely adore my roommate. I can't even believe how amazingly we get along. Her name is Lianna and she's from Vermont. She's a fine art photography major. I swear it was some sort of magical celestial happening that we got put together. PERFECT fit. :D She makes me laugh a LOT and we just fit together REALLY well as roommates. I do have a few other ppl I'm really close with here too. They're all guys of course. [I swear I'm not going to know to to act around girls anymore when I leave this place...]

Ian & Corey are roommates. They're two of the first ppl I made friends with on the floor and I've become really close to both of them. Ian and I have a very brother-sister bond. He's from California and has never seen snow. It's going to be a VERY long winter for him... He saw frost on a car for the first time last night and got all excited. He's going to be having a lot of firsts now that its [FINALLY!] cooling down around here. Corey and I just laughed at him the whole time the talked about it. As for Corey and I, we just hit it off like crazy and pretty much became best friends really quickly after getting here. By our second or third week here we knew each others entire life stories. It was almost crazy, but there just some people you bond with like that.

There's more to it, but I'm sure you'll all hear about that in person. ;) I'll let you wonder for now.


What else? I got my nose pierced a while ago! [I'll attach pictures to this] I thought my dad was going to be FURIOUS but he just laughed and said he told me so. I'm planning on getting made fun of a LOT when I come home, though. But i'm okay with that. I absolutely LOVE it. :D I'll just be happy to have REAL food and be able to shower without two dollar neon yellow flip flops on!!

We registered for classes recently, last week I think? Yeah. Last week. I decided to go over the allowed limit of 18 credits. [I had to get get special permission and stuff... woo fun] The reason behind this wonderful decision is because I have 6 credits from taking AP Photo in high school, it got me opted out of taking Studio art here. So since I already had 6 credits if I took more than 17 credits this next quarter I can be a "second year" by third quarter. By being a second year I can register earlier and also change from a meal plan to all debit. [Which would save me a lot of wasted money on meals I don't use] Also, if I get to pick my classes sooner I'll be more likely to get into the classes I want which will be handy because we get to pick our professors for Photo Arts 3 & i'll be able to get into Intro. to Psychology. The class fills up really quickly and I'm pretty sure I want to double minor in Psychology and Business, so... it'll just really give me the edge up. Plus, i wont lie. It'll make me feel smart to be a second year early. lol.

My schedule for next quarter looks like this:

Monday:
Material and Process of Photography [M&P, it's an all year combined Math/Science class for photo students...killer] 8am-10am lecture
Survey: Western Art & Architecture [Art history] noon-1:20pm
Photo Arts 2: 4pm-6pm

Tuesday:
Modern American History: 10am-noon. [I get to sleep in this quarter!! YAY!!]
Shakespeare: Tragedies: [Sooooo excited!!] noon-2pm.
Photo Arts 2: 4pm-6pm

Wednesday:
Photo Arts 2 Lab: 8am-noon
Survey: Western Art & Architecture: noon-1:20pm
Material and Process of Photography Lab: [death] 4pm-6pm

Thursday:
Modern American History: 10am-noon
Shakespeare: Tragedies: noon-2pm
First Year Enrichment: [Pointless freshmen class we're forced to take for two quarters, the only reason people go is because 90% of our grade is attendance] 2-2:50

Friday: No classes! Again! YAY!

So it's really not that bad even though I have more classes.

I'm going to Canada next weekend with my roommate, Ian & Corey, and another 2nd year from our hall named Dylan. It's going to be so much fun, just to get away from campus and bond and have fun! I'm really excited! It'll be my first time out of the country. EXCITED!!!!

I don't know what else to say right now except it's two am and I need to force myself into some sleep.

I love you all and I'll be seeing/talking to most of you soon enough!


Here's a pic:

[for some reason I can't get it to upload more than one, or figure out how to remove that one to load a diff. one, but if you copy and paste these into your web browser they SHOULD take you to a few more pics]

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/hiddenimortality/IMGP7770.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/hiddenimortality/IMGP7584.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/hiddenimortality/IMGP7583_2.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/hiddenimortality/Photo2102.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/hiddenimortality/IMGP7778.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a258/hiddenimortality/DSC06842.jpg

Moving in, orientation and the start of classes have all been quite a whirlwind. I've met so many people and done so much!! I'm very excited for my Photo Arts class, the professor is sort of rusty on teaching I guess, but he is a very knowledgeable and nice guy. I'm slightly less excited for most of the rest of my classes. But, oh well, they are almost all somewhat photography related, so that hold some motivation to get through them. Material and Process of Photography is going to be very hard, it's sort of a math & science replacement class for photo students . Western Art and Architecture should be cool, though. Western Art and Architecture is just a fancy name for art history. It's western Europe, though. Which wasn't really clarified. ;] The worst part of everything is just having to buy all of the equipment! Hopefully for at least the rest of the semester I wont have to buy TOO much more stuff other than film and paper, once I have my basic needs met for shooting and the darkroom.

My roommate, Lianna, and I have been getting along really well. Our living habits are very similar as are our tastes in food and social life, so living together hasn't been to difficult. She's a bit more quite than I am, [not hard to do] but our personalities are close enough that we're compatible. When we're just alone in our room we talk and joke a lot. So it has been fun. She is also a photo major, fine art, so we can talk about photo things a lot. And we can empathize with each other over being excessively broke, already. haha. As for my whole floor, I LOVE the people on it. I'm learning a ton of sign language and have finally gotten to the point where I can have general conversations with many of the deaf students through sign, hand spelling and some creative charades. I CANNOT wait to learn more, I LOVE the deaf culture. As for the hearing kids in my hall, we've all formed sort of a little family and have become pretty close. We all get along and hang out. It's really great.

I miss everyone from home a LOT, but it's nice that everyone here has fit together so well. So FAR there hasn't been too much drama, so that's good. I have become pretty close with a few guys that are just really nice, decent guys. I've made almost no female friends except for the girls in my hall. I suppose that's sort of normal because of the fact that the school population is 70% male, but still. It's just odd, I guess. :] It's more about personality than gender. I have not yet met a single girl [other than those in my hall] that I have just started talking to and our personalities clicked. It has been happening a lot more with guys, which I guess is sort of a good thing considering how [apparently] talking is a big problem on campus. I have lots of guy friends to walk with me at night and stuff. :]

Let's see... what else? I've finally started really decorating my dorm room. Despite the fact that part of our ceiling leaks... :[ Some piping is leaking and we're having a really hard time trying to find someone to fix it! But, we're working on that. Everything is starting to fall into a routine now, so it's not TOO strange, anymore. The photo store upstairs in the campus store is pretty much my savior, and everything really rather moderately priced. The campus store is a very good store in general, Barnes and Nobels [or maybe Borders?] owns part of it, but there is both a computer store and a camera store up stairs that they have fought to keep school control of so prices are cheaper. There are also text books, and clothes and all sort of school and art supplies. I'm learning to find my way around the tunnels under the dorms, so that's nice. Not being lost all the time. And I can even usually find my way back to my dorm when I leave other dorms! Except I still get turned around at night sometimes. Haha. Also they fixed our Air Conditioner, so we have cool air finally! Yay! All in all, I'm starting to get more pictures and posters up and I'm slowly getting organized and making friends!

I'm not sure what else to say. I'll up date again later! Thanks for reading!

So much has gone on! But first I'ld lay to say:

ORBITZ is a shady. Un professional. And completely unreliable company.

Today we went to the Colo Sprngs Airport to fly out to Rochester and not only did they, for NO reason, void my parents tickets from the Springs to Chicago, [Which took TWO HOURS plus to find replacement tickets or seats] but they took absolutely no responsibility for their very obvious mistake.

Thankfully, a very nice lady from the airport fixed our tickets to get us on a flight to chicago. However, once we ALREADY had received our boarding passes, gone through security, and were waiting at our gate, my father decided to go check what would was going to happen once we arrived in Chicago. The attendant at our gate, who was also very helpful and had already talked to my father about what had happened and looked up our tickets for Chicago to Rochester, noticed that Orbitz had gone into the system and canceled our flight from colorado to rochester. They CANCELED our tickets RIGHT OUT from under us. She overrode the system to get our tickets back, but this move from Orbitz was either incredibly and purposefully vindictive, or entirely unaware of their customers needs.

Do not EVER take a risk with your plans. MANY of the airport employees mentioned that they have numerous and OFTEN problems with them. Additionally, my mother just called to double check that they didn't cancel their flight home, and the agent from the airline said that she too has had MANY MANY problems with them.

Just don't take the risk with your plans!!! At any rate, the weather in Chicago was so bad the ended up canceling our flight anyways. So I'm home for a second last night. Haha.

It's so strange around here now... EVERYONE is just GONE. Well, everyone but my PPCC friends. But generally this place used to be bustling with activity. Or, at least as "active" as monument gets, but it has just been very odd to feel everyone's absence. Kyle left pretty early, so that was hard, but it was sort of nice that it gave both myself and him some time to figure out how we were both going to handle it before I left. We both sort of managed to figure out a bit of a basic understanding of how this might all go down before we both got too busy to really think anything through. I am going to welcome the distractions, though. He has had a much easier time with all of this than I have. For many reasons; one of which being the fact that he's male and has admitted to being able to think of one thing, and ONLY one thing at time. [When he wants to anyways.] I don't have that ability WHAT so ever. haha. But also because he went straight into school and had a lot to do and new people to meet [and also some old and very good friends going with him.] While I was only at home... saying GOODBYE to everyone as they gradually left. It was just hard. Luckily one of my best friends is sticking around for another year and others are either still in high school or left closer to the same time I did. I guess it really just came down to the fact that Kyle and I both just in really different places working out the same thing. =/ We've actually been working it out really well though. I go through phases of REALLY missing him, and being okay with the distance and with friends. I guess that's natural though. I thought about a lot of what has been going on and have really started being okay with how thins are. Make your lemons into lemonade and all that. There's nothing we can DO about the situation, so we might as well make the best out of it until we DO have more of a choice over it. Whatever that means.

I feel badly for my friends sometimes, though. I will miss them all. I will miss them all more than ANYTHING. However, I feel like some of them might be feeling a bit neglected because of my personal trauma of Kyle leaving. But it's more of a build up. I'm going to miss them ALL. Not just kyle. So I would hate if any of them saw me leaving without knowing how much they all mean to me, and have been a part of me over the past few years. I guess I just feel like the friends I have now, are really the ones I'm going to stay in touch with, so it's less worrisome. Everyone else faded out pretty quickly near the end of high school. Not to mention with the internet and everything, it's never been EASIER to stay close with your friends. :] I'm not as upset, because I KNOW we'll be able to stay in touch. :] And that's a nice feeling.

Everything has been so emotional lately. I have never cried in front of people so much in my entire life! Well, that's a lie. But I most definitely have NOT cried this much in front of people since I stopped throwing temper tantrums in the middle of stores. [Although I did have one of those with my dad the other day. Yay college shopping. I couldn't help but laugh after words, because it was so ridiculous that I did that. Poor Sears. I didn't cry though, so I 'spose this doesn't really count.] I guess you could call me a closet crier. Haha. I HATE crying in front of people. But... I don't think anyone would really think me weak or silly for crying at this juncture in life. Not to mention that I'm more confident than I've been in my whole life. So part of it is just me thinking that if I cry. Then I cry.

In other news, it seems EVERYONE has some obscure relative or friend of a friend in Rochester. It makes me laugh because I have a handful of numbers and e-mails of people I have never met that I am supposed to look up when I get there. Kyle even called me on the way to the airport today and told me that his professor/advisor for his academic community at CSU has a sister that lives really close to the campus. It was really sweet. He seemed so excited to be helping out. So I'll make sure to get together with her. In a direct quote I believe that I am "pretty much already invited over to dinner." :]

Another big thing was packing. I am actually a bit proud that I could fit most of all important things to me in four bags and a trunk. It is quite weird to see all of the belongings you deem important enough to move with you reduced to a bunch of bags. I have NEVER moved. I moved from the hospital i was born in, into my home. And from a tiny room downstairs. To a room upstairs. But that's it. So I have NEVER experienced something like this. I had everything pretty much organized except for one bin of random things I still needed to pack last night. But I also had to make sure everything was under fifty pounds each, since we were flying. I got home at three thirty from spending a last night with the girls. [Molly, Kelsie & Joy, Oh how I love them.] I was up until five thirty packing. I wasn't all that tired, if I had ventured into bed, I'm sure I could have managed to drift off, but it is easier to be busy than to lay and think. Not to mention that those are the hours I really get the most done, anyways. I will "spend all day cleaning" but in reality give me an hour at three am. And I can get it done IN that hour. I don't sleep all that much anyways except maybe once or twice a week. I get the bulk of my sleep those days, and the rest of the week 4 or 5 hours is fine, otherwise I feel sort of scatterbrained and strange. I enjoy the feeling of being a little bit tired. I think maybe I function better when I'm a little bit tired because I have to force my brain to really focus on one thing. Instead of trying to do six things at once. It's not that I have ADD, really. I can concentrate. It's just that I try to do all the things i can concentrate on at once. Thus, they take longer. <--- for instance, right as I type this I have COMPLETE awareness and concentration on what I'm typing. But I'm also thinking about Kyle, my bags, Joy, and the music. Perhaps that's why I enjoy such silly patterns going together on my clothing. One for each part of my thought. XP

Wow. Random tangent. =/ Sorry.

Despite everything I'm just very excited to get to school. I can't wait to meet my roommate, she seems really cool. I'm not expecting us to be best friends or anything, but I think we'll get along well enough. So that'll be nice! :] Also, my mom is crocheting me a big blanket to take with me. I made my parents go and pick out the yarn, so it really was something of them i could take with me. I love stuff like that.

Lastly, I said goodbye to joy today. We had a small goodbye last night, because we didn't know if we would get to see each other today or not. However, she made her way over, so it was nice to see her again before I left. Just her, for a bit. Even if I WAS running around trying to make sure everything was together. We had a REAL hug both last night and today. It's odd because were VERY very close, but we really just don't hug that often. I hug most of my other friends, it just never ended up being one of our things. We hug from time to time randomly, but when we do it's usually sort of awkward and silly. But these were nice true hugs. I think we usually only hug when we really need it and mean it. It makes them better and more special that way. :]

She made me this KILLER photo album of us that I guess she's been working on for almost a year, for my birthday. :] Along with some other equally awesome things. But I'm SOOOOOO grateful to have that with me at school. It was very very sweet of her. :]

Alright. I have a flight to catch tomorrow, hopefully, so I will let you all go.

Sweet dreams or have a good day. Depending on when you check this!

Wow! Soooo much has been going on since the last time I updated this! I can't even BELIEVE it!! I'm sorry it took me so long, I'll try to do it semi-regularly as studying permits. All I can say is... Where in the WORLD did July go???


General update: Katie & Mike had their baby! She's just about the most gorgeous & Precious baby I have ever seen! So beautiful! Also, Sam got married. I took the pictures. She looked absolutely stunning. Wedding photography takes a lot of work. And a LOT of late nights to get everything edited [I haven't really SLEPT in FOREVER.] That's just the tip of the iceberg in terms of events, but those are the most important ones. Life just really seems to be changing a lot for everyone these days...


College update: As of today: 20 days. [although it's past midnight, so I guess 19 days... Oh dear lord. We're in the teens now. How did THIS of all things manage to sneak up on me?!] 20/19 until orientation starts, anyways. We fly out on the 23rd, orientation starts the 26th, so we have a few days to go sight seeing and buy the things I couldn't fly out to Rochester with. I still have SO MUCH to do! I haven't even started packing really... All in all though, I'm not too worried about it. As long as I get everything done about a week before I leave, I'll be fine. This will give me time to double check everything, since I don't have the liberty of just driving down to get whatever I've forgotten. I've finally bought most of the things I need. So that's a HUGE load off. There are little things, but most of the major stuff is, at last, take care of. I purchased both my new tripod and a light meter yesterday. Kyle had said he wanted to buy me something functional for my birthday. Something that would help me with school. Take off some of the stress of getting ready. Something that would last a while, and that when I used it, I'd be able to think of him. Thus, he wanted to help me buy the tripod! We were aimlessly driving down in Colorado Springs yesterday and saw Wolfs Camera Shop so we decided to go in. I had heard of it, but I had never actually been inside. I instantly just connected with the tripod that I ended up getting. I just got the perfect vibe off of it, as silly as that sounds. The woman who helped us out was also really helpful, and the tripod ended up being perfect as she showed us all the features. [I talked to her for a really long time just about college and stuff, it was neat.] We also got a head for the tripod, obviously. It's all metal and really well made, I'm excited to get to use it. The price was just over 200 with tax and a UV filter added. I found out later that it was the exact brand, and the head was the same style as what i had originally picked out to get online with a student discount. [The price was also about the same as it would have been online because we didn't have to pay shipping this way.] I'm pretty much in love with it. Kyle put in half, as my birthday gift. He's quite the special boy. :] :]


Backtracking a bit, now that I've mentioned Kyle, other reason I'm not too concerned with packing is because I plan to distract myself with said college packing during the 10 days between when Kyle leaves for CSU and when I leave for RIT. I'm not looking forward to this at all, this is his last week at home and we're pretty much spending the ENTIRE thing together. I feel sort of badly about it. I'm kind of hogging him from his parents. Although, he can't wait to get out on his own, so I doubt he really minds, but I do feel sort of awkward about them missing their last week with him. [Although they WILL be able to see him more often than I will ;) ] We've been having such a great time so far [I even finally got him to color with me! :)] I think we're just trying to fit everything in. I've been doing okay lately with the whole emotional level of this. When the realization first struck of how soon we really were going to have to end our relationship, I cried a lot. We both wanted the exact same things, though, which was such a relief to myself and to Kyle. We both agreed it wouldn't be healthy to try to carry on a long distance relationship AND try to really get a feel for college and be able to experience everything. We both really feel it's important to stay in each others lives, even if it's just as friends. As hard as that may be. [And it's true, it's going to be SO hard when he finally likes someone else, or even when I find someone. But I think we're both mature enough to work around and with these emotions and really work to keep the friendship that we've had since before we started dating.] I had been really emotional about it, but lately I feel like I've been taking more of a "Well, you can either laugh or CRY" approach to it, and it's been working well. There are moments where I just want to burst out in tears because I realize that this AMAZING person that I've seen pretty much every single day since December, suddenly ISN'T going to be there. He will ALWAYS be there for me, and I know that. Friend or more. But there is something about the physical touch of someone who cares about you that you can't duplicate over a phone. It has also been more difficult lately though, because I can finally see it in his eyes and face sometimes how he's really feeling about leaving. He'd been pretty quite about it because he knew how hard all of this was for me, and didn't want to make it worse by talking about what he would and wouldn't be feeling. Tonight when I left his house, we were saying goodbye and I stepped out of the doorway and just started to cry as I walked down the driveway to my car. I didn't stop until I got home. And then of course my mom noticed and wanted to "talk about it." So then I cried more. And even a little now.


It's just SUCH a hard situation. Having to leave someone you love. Knowing that such a perfect relationship, and such a wonderful time period is ending. And you're leaving knowing that it will never ever be the same. While we will hopefully remain close friends... even if we date again someday, it WILL be different. THIS era, will be gone. During this entire relationship I've learned to give up the idea that I had long held quite tight fisted withing myself; that I must be able to control the situations around me. If not CONTROL the situation, have a back up plan so if the situation should LOSE control, I could keep it in control this plan. I have learned to really just have faith and leave SOME things up to fate. [with a little additional effort from yours truly] And that's just what I'm going to leave this relationship with, and really leave this whole SUMMER with. I'm going to work hard to stay close with him, but I'm just going to let fate have its way with me. Friends, Future Love, or Not. Leaving everyone is going to be hard. I'm going to be leaving the best friend I have EVER had. We met the day of our registration our freshmen year, and pretty much have NOT been apart since. We don't fight. We are the true friendship-style soul mates. But I'm not to worried about her, I know she's strong and I know we're gonna be able to stay close. Even if physically we're not. Parents. I'm going to LOVE being on my own. But I'm going to miss them SO much. I mean... they're my PARENTS!! I've never not seen them for more than a few weeks. It's going to be so hard. Haha, the more I write far away college is starting to sound like some sort of evil torture! But, to be honest, outside of all of this; the amazing amount of money I have recently spent, the TERRIFYING act of leaving absolutely EVERYTHING and EVERYONE I have ever loved or known.


I AM excited, though. Thanks to the wonders of the modern world I have met some really awesome people in my major from RIT. We've been talking fairly regularly and it's exciting to know that I will already have a few people up there to hang out with me on my birthday. [Since it's my third day on campus.] My roommate seems really cool and down to earth. I think we're gonna get along really well, which is exciting. I got onto a mainstreamed floor, which means that there are both Hard of Hearing [HOH] students and Deaf students mixed in with the Hearing students. I'm soooo excited for that. My entire life I have been interested in learning ASL and have taught myself bits and pieces, along with a few things I've picked up from having one of my best guy friends' parents both being deaf. Hmmm. I've gone on for a very long time. But I suddenly feel a little lighter. I think maybe from writing down the kyle stuff? Writing always helps me out. I can talk and talk and talk [as we all know! :)] but I really feel much more relaxed and freed when I write these things down.I hope everyone continues to have life move along wonderfully! Keep me in your thoughts over these next few weeks, because I'm am so utterly terrified of everything that's going to change in the next two weeks. I'm almost insane how much life can change in such a seemingly tiny amount of time, even if you HAVE been expecting it all summer!

My mom and I went shopping yesterday to hunt for sheets. We ended up only getting one fitted sheet for my bed. :[ It's really cute though! Bright colored stripes. Apparently, most of the stores are getting more of a variety in by the end of the month, so we're going to go back and see a little later. We did, however, buy towels! They're awsome. Very soft and I got them in all these AMAZING bright colors. It makes me happy to look at them. Yay Walmart! hehe. I also got a trunk that I can put some of my more pricey stuff in and lock up. But, that's about it from my end. Just thought I'd catch everrrrbody up at my preparations.

The day has come!! Fedex delivered my computer this morning! I was laying in bed, half awake, as always. [Kyle texts me from work starting at about eight thirty. So I'm pretty much half-sleep between 8:30 and when I actualy get up, sending texts out, whenever they come in. ha. Yay to the modern teenager.] Anyways, I heard the knock on the door and some guy talking to my dad. I just knew it was my computer. [But, I'd been up till three so I managed to stay in bed for another twenty minutes pretty easily.] I had been tracking it as it traveled across the world towards me. Starting in Shanghi, China, however they had stopped updating the tracker when it got to Indinapolis, so I only had the estimated arival date to go by. But, alas, I had faith! :]

It is such a nice computer, I can't even believe it's here! So far I've been entertaining myself with the built in video/camera thing that most, if not all, macs come with these days. It surprised me at first, I had gone through all the start up stuff and I got the point where I had to create an account so I can log in, and I look at the screen and suddenly see myself moving around. I was shocked, and... considering I was still really tired and had just woken up, it wasn't all that flattering of an image. It's a pretty fun feature, I'm sure I'm going to be using it WAY too much. I got some cute pictures of my parents and myself later on. My dad put up surprisingly little fight, however, he still wouldn't really smile, smile. He said his beard made it so he couldn't. Whatever, that liar. :]

RIT has wireless internet, and I didn't bother buying a modem to only use it for two months, so I wont really be able to use the internet on it until I get to school, but I'm sure i'll make a few trips to coffee shops before I go just so I can test it out! :] I'm just really excited about it! I was messing with the wallpapers for the desktop and there was one that just showed how amazing the resolution was and I just about wanted to cry. Which is pathetic, but... if i'm spending that much for something, I might as well be emotionally attached to it right? haha.

In other news: My ulcer [my mom keeps saying "pre-ulcer," but she couldn't FEEL it. I'm pretty sure it was an ulcer ulcer. But I can't remember what the doctor said now, so there's no reason to really argue over it.] has cleared up nicely, as the doctor said it would. I'm quite thrilled about this, I might add. However, now I have sort of of throat/cough thing. It sounds like bronchitis when I cough, but I feel COMPLETELY fine. It's very strange. I think I'm going to the doctor for a check up on the whole ulcer/neck realinement situation. My doctor will be just thrilled I have some new weird thing going on with me. Last time he told me I should be going to a nursing home instead of college! I thought it was funny. :]

That's about it, for now. I'm excited for the fourth of July because Kyle has work off and my familia is having their semi-annual BBQ. It should be a good day, if I don't get sunburnt. :] Also, Katie & Mike are having their baby soon and I couldn't be more excited!! She'll be a pretty little heart breaker for SURE! :] But in the best way possible.

Love. Love. Love. I'll write again as soon as something collegy and exciting happens.

I'm starting to get sort of excited about college. Not completely, but I have my moments. I stressed out about it so much I gave myself an ucler. So, I've decided to just slow down a bit. I'm mostly worried about leaving everyone! But, I've thought about it a lot, and I know the people I'm most concerned about leaving are all people that I love. And thus, they wont just vanish from my life because I don't get to see them everyday. I know I'm going to miss them, and I hope they're going to miss me and not forget about me, but... as horribly hard as this is going to be: It's something I just have to do. And I guess you really can't worry too much about things you can't avoid. Relationships and friendships my change, but I know if these people genuinely care for me as much as i do for them, they'll still find a way to stay in my life, and I will stay in theirs.

I have also realized the fact that I'm not TRAPPED at one school. If I get to RIT and just hate it. I can always leave and go to CSU or wherever for a semester as I figure out another school I want to go to. I'm not stuck.

As for buying things: I'm going to be so broke. Haha. A letter from the photography dept. said that my expenses will cost about $2500 for my first year. Just for supplies [paper, film, developing, ect.]. But I'm garunteed a job on campus, and I might look into some other job I can have that wont take up a lot of time. We'll see. My laptop is also going to be quite a punch in the pocket. MacBook Pro 17". But I really think it's what I'm going to need, and I can get a student discount from the website. Plus, it will for SURE last me all four years. There is a lot I need to get before I go, but I can buy a package from the school with all of the starter stuff I need for my Photographic Arts I class. So that will cut down on it a lot. I also already have a digital SLR camera, so I won't have to worry about buying one of those part way through the year, which will be just dandy.

That's about it for now. Except I'm sort of miffed about the schedual. I get two weeks for Thanksgiving & two weeks for X-mas. Intead of one week for Thanksgiving and 3+ Weeks for X-mas. And break starts the 24th of December. But I figure I can see all my friends over their Thanksgiving breaks and then go and spend a few days at CSU and a day or two at CU to visit everybody up there. The Christmas thing just sucks. But that's another thing I can't do anything about, so I'll just have to work around it.

:)

K. So, this is my blog! :)

I donno how often I'll update, but I decided this would be an easy way to keep everyone updated all at once about the happenings in my life. I'll still be e-mailing everyone individually about various things, however, this is just going to be an easy way to keep everyone updated on the general things going on.

This isn't going to be a myspacey thing, no pictures, no crazy blogs, just general thigns goin' on in my life, school, schedual, friends etc. Just to keep family and friends informed.

:) We'll see how this goes.